Shared Story: The Power Within
By: Chloe Guan
The human nature is fascinating. Comprised of body and mind, one must learn to nurture both simultaneously, oftentimes attempting to defy what nature seemingly imposed upon them. Having grown up in a versatile environment and experimenting with various sports, being an athlete was an essential part of me, something that offered me solace, taught me discipline, and challenged me to always strive for more. However, things changed when I was fourteen, for I received a diagnosis that was unfathomable at the time: Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis with Sacroiliitis. Pain was never a stranger to me, or so I thought. Soon, I came to realize that there was indeed a difference between the aching sensation of a good workout and that of doing nothing peculiar. Aside from a noticeable physical difference, the scary part came in the abnormalities: there were no answers to the whys. Why did I suddenly have to deal with this new disease? Why did I suddenly have to deal with this new disease? Why did I suddenly have to deal with this new disease? It’s easy to point fingers and blame entities of nature, since closure offers all of us peace. But what should one do when there is no one to blame, when it’s one’s own body attacking itself? The absence of reason, though confusing and painful, taught me essential life skills that I would never have gained otherwise: resilience, grit, emotional maturity, self-advocacy, and the courage to keep hoping.
Searching for answers and finding none (hence the term idiopathic), I realized that I had no choice but to adapt to my new reality, an extended, once hidden fracture in the life I thought I knew how to navigate. Like Paulo Coelho once wrote in his book The Alchemist, boats are perhaps safer in the port, but that’s not what they’re made for. Looking around and picking up the pieces of what I could still count on for sure – my friends, family, and self – I asked myself, “What am I made for?” When I realized that I longed for a life filled with adventure, I readjusted my sails and departed trusting not in the winds that rock my vessel, but rather in my skills as an explorer. I continued playing competitive volleyball for my high school team, contributed to an integrative project in Cambodia, and maintained my community contributions, even enlarging them to other realms such as AWISH. Diving deeper into my month-long voyage to Cambodia, every day of that experience felt like a struggle. Blazing heat, long filmmaking days, and tough physical labour definitely posed a challenge to my physical state, and fitting in with my peers was a fight I knew would be difficult to win. Despite all of the ups and downs of this experience, I can now look back on that time in my life as a milestone, something that reminds me to keep hoping because good things take time.
“Do it anyways” became something I still live by to this day. Though many questioned how I managed to persevere, there is truly no secret: you just have to keep going. That being said, be mindful about your lifestyle, and please know that it’s more than okay to take breaks from the world from time to time. You never have to do it all in one day, but you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Oftentimes, rheumatic diseases can feel overwhelming and ineffable, but it is by living life authentically that you can challenge social stigma and redefine the essence of the true human nature: courage.
